anxiety is
being five and the grown ups laugh
at you for hiding
behind your mothers legs.
but you're just trying to keep away from
the strangers towering over you.
anxiety is
not telling the girl you're
playing pretend with
that she's scratching the skin
off your face
with her long nails.
anxiety is
always being told to speak up
which only makes your
voice go quieter.
anxiety can be
screaming in the face of someone
who doesn't deserve it
because you're just so overwhelmed
you can't handle your feelings.
anxiety is
letting him slowly strip off your clothes
and all you want to do it say "no"
but you
just
can't.
anxiety is always
people telling you
"don't worry"
"just relax"
"just do it"
and it never being that simple.
anxiety is losing friends
over never leaving your bedroom
and never being in a good mood.
anxiety can be
not even being able to sit up in the morning
too crippled with fear
about the day ahead of you.
anxiety is
walking into a crowded room
not being able to move
speak
even
breathe
until you get out
and even then for hours afterward
you still can't think straight.
anxiety is
merely going to a dentist appointment
is more than enough for one day
anxiety can be
people making fun of you for
"always freaking out"
and laughing at your expense.
anxiety can be
holding in your pee for too long
because you literally cannot face
the possibility
of accidentally walking in on someone
or having to wait in line
or even
having to knock on the door,
press your ear close to hear that faiful
"One minute!"
anxiety is
rapid fire, non-stop
cyclical thoughts
about asking your host for a glass of water
but each time you open your mouth to speak
a blockage forms
so instead, you sit,
a perfectly parched guest
and the thought process starts over.
anxiety really is
irrational fear
showing up whenever it wants
never fully leaving you
haunting most every moment of your life
ruining your credibility
and completely crippling you
beyond human recognition.
being five and the grown ups laugh
at you for hiding
behind your mothers legs.
but you're just trying to keep away from
the strangers towering over you.
anxiety is
not telling the girl you're
playing pretend with
that she's scratching the skin
off your face
with her long nails.
anxiety is
always being told to speak up
which only makes your
voice go quieter.
anxiety can be
screaming in the face of someone
who doesn't deserve it
because you're just so overwhelmed
you can't handle your feelings.
anxiety is
letting him slowly strip off your clothes
and all you want to do it say "no"
but you
just
can't.
anxiety is always
people telling you
"don't worry"
"just relax"
"just do it"
and it never being that simple.
anxiety is losing friends
over never leaving your bedroom
and never being in a good mood.
anxiety can be
not even being able to sit up in the morning
too crippled with fear
about the day ahead of you.
anxiety is
walking into a crowded room
not being able to move
speak
even
breathe
until you get out
and even then for hours afterward
you still can't think straight.
anxiety is
merely going to a dentist appointment
is more than enough for one day
anxiety can be
people making fun of you for
"always freaking out"
and laughing at your expense.
anxiety can be
holding in your pee for too long
because you literally cannot face
the possibility
of accidentally walking in on someone
or having to wait in line
or even
having to knock on the door,
press your ear close to hear that faiful
"One minute!"
anxiety is
rapid fire, non-stop
cyclical thoughts
about asking your host for a glass of water
but each time you open your mouth to speak
a blockage forms
so instead, you sit,
a perfectly parched guest
and the thought process starts over.
anxiety really is
irrational fear
showing up whenever it wants
never fully leaving you
haunting most every moment of your life
ruining your credibility
and completely crippling you
beyond human recognition.
