over

i make a mistake.
i lie down.
i think of you.

empty inside
except for this melted piece of plastic
that's supposed to be a heart.
the smell furls up my chest
and gags me.
it burns.

i wonder
if you've heard of the woman
who took a pill she wasn't supposed to
and burned from the inside out.
well, my insides are burning too
except the cause comes from within,
not out.

might as well just
recycle the melted plastic
so it can actually serve a purpose.
so i do.

i see the toll booth attendant
with whom i have a great rapport.
she is always friendly
and for a moment i feel happy.
but then the feeling fades
and again i feel helpless
and empty.

hanging like a christmas bulb
in the center of my chest
now lives a black hole
sucking up surrounding
tissue and organs.

i exist, now
as a hollowed insect
a mere crunchy exoskeleton
awaiting the foot
that will resolve me to dust.