i used to have an affinity for cut diamonds
until one cut me
so i ground my collection down to dust
but it overtook me,
consumed my surroundings, my habitat
it filled my mouth and nose and eyes and ears with dry powder
and i drowned in a sea of silver

it's not even supposed to matter anymore.

but i guess it does

still and statuesque.
silence resonating.
it's quiet in the classroom
the atmosphere appears padded
like solitary confinement.
in my head's a different story;
the sound of fists pounding flesh.
the crack of knuckles connecting with wood.

i am so sick of you.

upside down lady bug

i should melt as i walk.
viscous body part extensions stepping as they drop in globs.
they emulate my legs
carrying me forward a few feet
until my entire body is liquid human;
a puddle on the ground face first.
i embrace the solid ground.
i seep into the earth and dissipate,
still existing
but no longer of homo sapien consciousness.
it's all i want.

i hate being alive.

hynagogic text messages

my brain says:
the crust separates from the mantle
and vibrates the miles that surround it.
ceramic tiles on an un-glued surface
they rattle like the empty shell of a corpse filled with bones.
my optic nerve travels a similar root/route,
plucked and sawed like a stringed instrument
the blood rushing to my head on the weekends doesn't help.
i can only scream so loud.
it doesn't work.

a vampire-blood-lust, throat parching hunger sears my esophagus
literally a blood-lust
but i've held my breath and silently vowed to stay untouched.
i can self satisfy in other ways

this month, it's halloween every weekend.
but if i ever see your devastating face around
i'll rip your clown mask right off at the seams.
you sewed it on for permanence.

detachment from safety and attachments to strangers
i relax my fingers then apply a velcro grip
i'm so backwards.

the letters are all jumbled in my alphabet soup
my eggs scrambled when i wanted them poached
cerebral-stuffed microwave ovens pile up at my feet.

i have so much to say but i've lost my voice
i drink tea with honey to attempt to regain it
only time will tell

reality says:
i'm irrevocably, eternally falling completely apart.

new england dragway

life abides by two extremes,
always;
a seagull and a helpless infant.
the bird is overjoyed
the baby's always crying.

two tops spin on the same plane,
but different axis
time causes them to drift
what a tragedy.

my insides are boiling pitch,
my brain melts from the rising steam
my eyes no longer focus

coming home means seeing the drag all lit up;
metal boxes tear apart the pavement with their rubber mouths
the noise travels,
but so does the highway.