"get me out of here"

no one hears me

i'd love to leave you all behind
but i care too much to hurt you

i'll disappear for a while
but i'll come back, someday.
maybe not for weeks or months
maybe after years

i feel fast asleep
but my eyes betray me, blinking rapidly
none of you could ever comprehend this feeling.
i hope you never have to.
deflate your head, because it's not all because of you.

it costs 50 cents to self destruct
i've got thousands in the bank
it's just a matter of a countdown.
the path in front of me is all down hill;
i'll do nothing to stop this journey.

none of this is worth it
not even writing this-

the brown and white dog
with the long, sharp teeth
gets overly excited
when we descend into his
domain

flesh-packaged curiosity

i stare across the urban farmlands.
a sparse field of colorful, metal crops.
these man-made plants bubble before my eyes
there is no farmer, only pests.
they each parasitically claim ownership of a
vehicular piece of produce
and hungrily use it up
until this process ruins the earth.

horrible, yet beautiful.
it's beauty makes me think of you;
red panda face
or perhaps any feline breed.
his smile turns his face into a sun.

just another pandora's box i should not open.

to be honest

i guess this change in temperature is pretty nice
it's making my hair stand on end.

i guess (these) change(s) in temperature (are) pretty nice.
it's making my (life) (more exiting)

riddle me this one, bitch

i saw your face in stark hypnagogic clarity
its sharpness cut me

your facial topography a patchwork quilt
glued instead of sewn,
opposing materials combusted before my eyes
and i saw your face melt, smoke,
disfigure.
around your eyes: loose silk
and frayed holes where your eyes should be.
your empty head swayed in a non-existent wind.
your disgusting beauty unsettled me.

in the short pseudo-dream/reality
everything was as it should be.
in the infinitesimal fraction of a second
before my eyelids spoke "raise the curtain"
you wanted desperately to kiss me

and i, you.

its funny how opposite spectrum our cochlear fluids are now.
but i wonder if
in the fleeting seconds before you drift
i wonder,
if you ache?
because i do, now, all the time.

i'm just waiting for everything to end.

you need to disappear

surging, speeding into complete uncertainty
i can tell by the inertia
it pulls all my organs to the left.
but the speedometer is stuck on zero
i'm moving fast but going no where.
i plunge into bright value but dark tone;
a neutral downhill slalom.
i feel sick from all this movement.

the words weren't written
but it doesn't mean they aren't there.
they hang in signal towers,
between satellites swimming past constellations.
you can taste the words
shockingly sour-sweet
like touching your tongue to the contacts of a nine volt.
but when saliva creates a circuit,
far from lip to lip,
it shocks and disconnects the brain
it separates ascending tracts from descending reality.

dear You,
I miss.

ps. i'm a wreck.

no more titles

i miss my Nike's something awful
but they're lost, and always will be.
so i sit here waiting to forget about them