slain

i don't get it
stunned;
all my muscle tone
or skeletal stability
simply melts
and i roll back
head hanging backwards over the chair
84 bpm
i giggle and it sounds like insanity.

--

today i'll have to
rip apart my entire
face
claw my nails to simulate stability
my fingers as puppet strings
my face is hollow like a marionette
thin undereyes almost gray
sickly, at least
vein ridden.
i need to hold onto something
to stay awake
my hair roots prove good company,
emit pheromones and heighten
outer appearances.

I rode home leisurely
first just reveling in the
feeling of floating
as i drifted through the thin air
across the pavement.
the feeling, not new but
certainly improved,
almost alien,
was confusing, frightening
but pleasing.

i pass the meadow
where the warm, golden sun
called out to my daydreams this morning.
and i yearn for it as it
begs for my contact.

the rapid descent down the hill
i gather the feeling.
an uplifting tingling in my core
and coupled with
high speeds, fierce winds and
f a l l i n g,
the joyride bathed me in
so much ecstasy that it
hid this strange emotion.

and i've never seen such a strange sight
as when the low gear truck
carried its counterpart atop its back
while the schizophrenic sunlight
makes life seem unreal, like a dream
and that's how the afterlife is perceived.