well, yea

you got what you wanted for the holidays
and then some
fuckfuckfuck.

jumping back into things is easy
and just as heartbreaking
so close
too close?
what is too much
and what's not enough?
promises of not changing
pledged for nothing awkward

you just wantwantwant
and you getget
but you don't
get.

you wish to just give it up
and you can't
maybe this is your karma.

everything coincides
the forgotten biting at peripherals.
new and new and new
keep rushing in and keep wanting
keep striving for things
attainable?
or not so much so?

pressurepressurepressure
and
and...
no release?

no need for it,
there's room for it.

"And down she goes, we'll need a haven for this mental case
cause she's beautiful and she'll never even know."

own it

god, it's like you must be chained up
never let free.
aging, fading dragon.
fire breather.
beauty.

untrained
mislead.

so broken
so full of love.
painful to watch
and still in love .

fuck.
keep two lives living.
deny one?
figure yourself out.

never fully explained.
red and chained beauty
misconstrued demon.
which is it?

too good for this world,
but you're too selfish.
this beauty has gone crazy
colored face in the sea of grayscale
last one standing.

you feel as if you hold the strings controlling the world
fucking puppeteer.
do it right.

wish

this night dawns a new day that dawns upon young faces
noise.
white noise
japn noise
RI noise.

no noise.

bandannas wrapped around heads and necks, but not too tight.
cut circulation
cut ventilation

bunny suits.
black paint on hard calcium connected to appendages.

wishes of longer fingernails
wishes to slip fingers under paper

the morning gives birth to shrieks
ripping
and sweet or not so sweet. and maybe semi sweet but mostly Splenda.
fake sweet.

to love or not let thyself be opened and disected.
the question?
or the answer.


is it conformity
or is it self help?
self allowance.
wishes of nodding off in a demons soft arms
and wishes of never having this at all.

it's still love
but not... in love.
at least you hope and pray this is the truth.
because to fall back in love isn't what you want for christmas.

what do they know

when you're falling asleep next to someone, and they fall asleep before you it feels as if you're following them into their dreams.

tangled fake eyelashes sticking together, sticking them together.