we are two neutron stars
orbiting each other in a fatal dance
two damaged souls attracted by gravity
and when we merge
we'll either simmer
or explode
at times we graze each others paths
our touch a blinding, burning light
with molten claws that rip our flesh to shreds
and with the scraps
we sew
bodies and souls anew
a patchwork quilt of each other
into something neither you or me
but equally us
a new planetary body
that churns and accelerates silently
in the nothingness of the universe
like a fish swallowing a hook
i'm pulled in your direction
my head tilts back
and i have no choice but to look toward the sun
though it's refracted and scattered,
the light is still dazzling
dizzy from my offset equilibrium
i break the surface of the water
and realized it's not the sun
but your face shining down at me
I used to have so many dreams
emotions crawling inside my skull
buzzing and busy as a beehive
compassion a cook pot left to boil over on the stove
an innocent mind,
uninhibited from allowing ideas to perform a prison break
but over time, humanity turned against me
decided capitalism was more important than the pollinators
they sprayed their pesticides with wreck-less abandon
and so the hive grew quiet
they realized incarceration could turn a profit
packed the prisons full and tightened security
and pledged the death penalty for all dissenters
and so the prisons became impenetrable
they weaponized food,
knowing hunger weakens the mind
cut the gas supply to all the stoves
and so the burners went cold
now here i am,
stuck with a quiet mind
and the thoughts that do remain
can no longer break free
i feel like an animal in captivity
governed by handlers to follow a strict schedule
and destined to pace endlessly
back and forth
across my small enclosure
stuck in a time loop
living the same day over and over
except the walls close in by millimeters each day
and i forgot the code to locked door eons ago
contained
like a video game character who hasn't unlocked the full map
and like a fish that jumps to certain death
just to escape its poisoned environment
i fantasize about sticking a fork in an electrical outlet
in hopes of a hard reset
i want to consume everything
that makes me feel anything at all
all the good and bad alike
like a black hole in the center of our universe
i want to consume you most of all
but your gravity is immense
and your light shines so bright
that it would be a pity to destroy
and make you a consequence of my insanity
but maybe
i could have you for a while
and we could dance through the dark
and the silence
and the nothingness
together
and after years and years and years
i could set you free as something
even better than both of us ever were
It's the dawn of the Age of Enlightenment
It arrives
lovingly holding hands the a cataclysmic earthquake
who opens a chasm that cast the lovers apart
not long after
a comparatively infinitesimal rock
races through the cosmos
a lonesome warrior who collides with my planetary body
the impact breaks parts of me off
shooting bits into the void
and vacuum
and darkness
while they remain part of the whole
they transform into their own unique beings
shaped and formed by time
most of the broken parts float away
flung too far past the pull of gravity
but one remains
sentences to circle me endlessly
you start to wonder why you're always manic-pixied
and realize the grim truth:
you have no substance
they can project whatever they want onto you
nothing more than a blank expanse,
a movie screen
and with barely a thought in your head
conversations are typically
one-sided
you, the patient receiver
them, the main character
you listen well,
with two dark eyes that bore into their soul
when really it's your only way of staying anchored to reality
fighting for your life to play a part
in a game which you're still unsure of the rules
dissociation and distraction
are the angel & devil on your shoulders
each whispering sweet-nothings in your ears
but ripping you in two
yet still,
you somehow manage
to enchant
and your curse is to sprinkle pixie dust
on all those you encounter
while you float in an endless void of
bland confusion
half-thoughts and dead dreams
subsisting on the complex lives of those around you
fore-fed their truths and lies
like an alien creature born with a bottomless stomach
and after all this time
the Weight Of Others
finally starts to accumulate
a single teacup sits before me
the delicate, ornate porcelain an insult to its contents
i know it's poison
bound to a chair, my choices are:
drink and die quick with dignity
or wither slow
wilting like a neglected houseplant in the corner of a room
your visage appears before me in pixelated agony
i decide the cup is my salvation and swallow it all in one gulp
your face bursts into a million crystals
i can inhale a deep breath and blow you away
but i steel it to let you suspend in particulates
like dust motes in stale air
your essence swims like static electricity before me
and you cling to me just the same
